Eight weeks ago our little family of three became four as we welcomed precious Lucas James Walters into the world! He is a doll and we are soaking up every sweet minute of his new little life. His presence, however, has brought my blogging and my study of God’s promises to a screeching halt. Since this is my second kid, I knew this would happen. I knew that the first several months (a.k.a the “fourth trimester”) would be largely focused on keeping my kids and myself alive and that reading and writing would likely take a back seat. And it has. No surprise.
But in an effort to be fully transparent, I am struggling. I miss that time of study. It was renewing, refreshing and invigorating to spend quality time searching the Bible for God’s promises. I felt more focused and clear minded than I had in a while. During my pregnancy and the months of study on this topic, I knew that eventually this sacred time would end and I would enter into a different kind of sacred time caring for baby Lucas. So I made note cards upon note cards of verses that I could grab and read over during this season to remind me of what I learned and the clarity and focus I gain from spending time in the Word.
Yet the cards lay scattered on the floor under my nightstand, having been knocked to the ground around 1 am in the first days home with Lucas, pretty sure some are ruined from knocking over a glass of water or two on top of them in the dark. Why didn’t the cards work? I thought I had made a fool proof system to keep myself connected but my system isn’t working. I have my Fighter Verses App on my phone, and I am forgetting to go there too. I occasionally open my Jesus Calling App and get something there. Inevitably the few times I have tried to meditate I either fall asleep or get interrupted. And part of me mourns the loss of that peaceful and precious “me” time alone with my Bible and my notebook.
This is a season. It will change, just like the season before it changed. But what I am searching for now is a way to stay connected to God during this season. I have to confess, since I have shared so much of this journey with you, that I am feeling very disconnected. And I worry that I am going to lose much of what I gained.
I need some advice from yall. How can I stay engaged and connected to studying God’s promises in this season? How can I keep it up alongside caring for infant and toddler? I am sure that someone out there has figured this out already. I am about to write verses on the walls and maybe that is the answer I dont know. All I know is that there will always be seasons and change will always threaten to disrupt my flow. I need a system in place that can adapt with the changes and keep me in the right frame of mind.
Any thoughts out there?