Mike Sanders on “The Future”

One of my graphic designers posts this blog today.  I have permission to reprint the blog in its entirety here.  I hope you children of the 80s will enjoy.  And yes, this is the same punk kid who asked me how were the 80s on my birthday. 

The Future? (By Michael Sanders)

Why the crap has the “future” that we were so very excited about, not happened yet? I mean the future that we were supposed to look forward to when we were kids?

I’m talking about Blade Runner and Back to the Future IIdepictions of the future! Flying cars, and hoverboards! WHERE IS MY HOVERBOARD?! It’s time to get to work people! Back to The Future II’s future takes place is in 2015. That gives us 7 years to get crackin’!

So what was it was about the 1980’s that got everyone so pumped for the future? Was it the Casio or was it laser tag?

If 1985 could talk to or check up on 2008 to see how the future was going how would the conversation go? I have an idea….

The Q & A Transcripts between 1985 and 2008 on the Topic of “The Future”

1985: Wow! I can’t believe I’m talking with 2008! WoOoOoOoWhoo!! USA! USA! USA!
2008: Yes. Thank you. It’s alright. You can sit down now.
1985: Ha! Sorry I’m just so excited!
2008: Oh it’s ok. I understand.
1985: Well as you know I’m 1985 and I’m SOOO excited about the future! So I guess I’ll just go right into the first question. How is SPACE?
2008:ahhh, well it’s fine, still. There are quite a few more satellites orbiting Earth.
1985: Oh cool…wait, you’re not living in space yet?
2008: No, I can’t say we are yet.
1985: ….huh.
2008: But I can say, one can book a space flight months and months in advance for thousands of dollars.
1985: That’s interesting I guess.
2008: Yeah. It’s not really a common thing people do.
1985: Oh. Well…tell me, what are flying cars like?
2008: Sorry, no flying cars have been invented yet.
1985:What! Really?
2008: Yeah. It’s a lot more complex than one would think. Especially with recent oil costs rising to almost $125 a barrel, it would make just as much sense to buy a plane. We Still have those!
1985:
2008: We have and are making more Hybrid cars, which are cars with half fuel/half electric engines.
1985: Can they hover?
2008: No.
1985: Can anything hover, 2008?
2008:Well, nothing that can be commercially bought.
1985: Well what’s cutting edge?
2008: Well we have Segways
1985: What’s a Segway?
2008: It’s a machine you ride standing that has two wheel on the sides, and handles bars to steer.
1985: So…you’re saying you re-invited the scooter?
2008: It’s not a scooter, it’s a segway! It’s different. You have optimal balance!
1985: Ok, ok. What else is new?
2008: We have a computer that can fit onto a big envelope!
1985: So you can mail computers!?
2008: No— I mean, yes you can, but you don’t. You mail stuff through a computer it’s called “Email.”
1985: That’s nice — But back to flying cars..how long do you think until there are flying cars?
2008: Well honestly, they’re going to have to completely rethink the economic engineering of a new traffic system, and probably they will have discover a creeper more efficient material than oil for them to run on.
1985: …so?
2008: I say another 30 years. From me, not you.
1985: Well, any cool new cultural things or crazy styles?!
2008: Actually no… If you can believe it you are back in style. As in, the 80s are back in style.
1985: .… I am flattered, outraged, and baffled all at the same time!
2008: Yeah it’s kind of embarrassing now, come to think of it…
1985: Any robots or artificial intelligence?
2008: Just a few. There’s this flat one that can vacuum pretty well.
1985: Final Question: Is EPCOT Center still considered to be the “Community of Tomorrow”?  Or has it be closed to the public and is now a Utopian future society that secretly harbors a alien robot army in it’s “Starship Earth?”
2008: No to both or those questions. The hype and excitement of EPCOT died swiftly in the early 90’s. It did for the future, what Jefferson Starship did for the music; absolutely nothing.
1985: Hey, I love that band!

the future?

 

 

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